Friday, 31 July 2015

The opposite of what a healer is.

I'm starting to wonder if I can get over this girl. I have gone through one day without the urge to call her, and having relaxed a bit from deliberate distraction.

My mother, although not a great teacher of all things spiritual. She dated a man for a few years and she was really crazy about him, but she got turned off 'permanently' when she saw a part of him that was a bully.

Kind of a little bit how I see this girl. She is meant to be a healer but she has used healing energies to twist herself away from real positive behaviour. The opposite of what a healer is. (And as you give to yourself, you must give to others. In order to do this to herself and be genuinely unaware of the real positive options she would have had to apply these teachings to others. There may be a trail.)

I suppose I felt a little different in the conversation when I realised she knew, and completely understood the way I was suffering, but... what? I don't know a great deal about the methods she's used to block the original positive feelings, that is mysterious; but I know she has and that was out of a cowardliness of not wanting to be vulnerable after I was slightly nasty to her.

Classic feminist.
And with any luck now she does not have the same conviction and has started to doubt these teachings, their power will start to remove from the world.


I don't have anything to say or contribute at this very minute. Only that I am scared.

I have not experienced any painful guidance towards this girl, lately. But I am scared that this is only temporary (since the 'birthday' asking out is still on the table), and if I don't phone her and have that go well, the energy will close down again, (i.e. she will 'give up', that implies she is waiting for me which is ludicrous), and if the energy closes down again I will again be under pains to call her.

Obviously whenever I do call her she tells me not to phone her anymore, and that is painful and a reason I don't want to do so.

I got guidance a few minutes ago, a strong image and words of 'there is a 100% chance you two will be together'. What, no chance that my health is going to deteriorate? At the current moment that seems like a Herculean task. Oh well, another mystery on this 'planet'.
Anyway, so obviously real pains. Most people will never know the incredible fear of not knowing if they are going to be sane and 'living' for the next few days.

Dream Guidance.

Dream Guidance has said things that are not particularly esoteric. Just 'sort out your birthday'.

Kind of cool. After the man-made-crop-circle you wonder if they're around. But obviously your guidance is always there to lend a hand! :).

Thursday, 30 July 2015

There are a few good things.

To just kind of get you through.

Hugging the dog etc.

These are short term and fundamentally secondary to what is going on with the deeper psychology though.

Laying it all out.

The next thing I need to know is... Am I going to die or aren't I? (I can't really do anything to plan the rest of my life without this important fact!)

The girl that I have been talking about has been obsessed with soulmates her whole life, I have felt, due to unbelievable guidance that results in hellish pain if it is not followed, that I was this person.

If you cannot make a relationship work under these circumstances then you are surely fucked. I cannot see a way that you would go on living under these circumstances. I've not received more than a smidgeon of positive emotions like compassion etc. from her (Definitely nothing even close to desire, in fact proven desire for others of a different type). But I have received an overabundance of being ignored and cruelty (of being aware of the result of her actions and still being fine with it).

I can't exactly live without the guidance that connects me with her. I can't see any point, neither do I see the possibility of anything retributive, like sending her, or others, to jail.

So what's the point. My life is just going to be a hollowed out shell. I can't exactly date someone else when my intuition doesn't guide me to them.

It strikes me.

That that Phoenix Crop circle could very well be man made. I saw a proper one and it seems that the design is very square rather than circular and not a log of the grass is flattened.

Therefore, I won't be visiting it.


Saturn is going direct in two days!

6:54am August 2nd!

I should have looked at this planet before now and thought about what it means. Saturn in Scorpio is the karmic rebound against the abuse of power. In retrograde it will be diffuse and inward, but as it goes direct we should experience a bit of that karma.

And I was just mulling over how that bible quote of: 'Avenge not yourselves, I will avenge thee.' Is not true in my understanding. Just you wait!

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

When I do look into the future.

As an image I see myself pulled upwards by positive forces, either literally or metaphorically, not able to deal with emotions, just forced upwards to being able to have a kind of birds eye view and then further off into something mysterious but basically positive. And which has a lot of people. Watching Earth and it's ET contact from that point.

I do not know how to square this from the negativity in the LoO with being 'displaced'. Except that I have no power in this situation I outlined so either displaced or someplace good, or completely metaphorical. It could be a collusion of societal forces.

It was my fault as well.

And I'm just realising that.

I arranged a date with her and cancelled and this is what she was really angry about. (All that time ago)

I thought to arrange another one with her over this crop circle thing but I bottled out. I had this vision of her giving a blow job to another guy on the phone while I was talking to her and I experience this fear that my love will be twisted against me in some way.

So it WAS me that also did as bad, and me that doesn't have the courage to ask her out. However, she did explicitly tell me she didn't want me phoning her back. These things are always equal. I am responsible for not asking and she could be responsible for rather than saying 'don't phone me back', something more positive along the lines of 'only talk to me if you have something positive to say'.

Anyway, does this help anything. It helps me stay afloat energy wise but it doesn't really help anything in practical terms. It reveals to me that I am afraid of her lack of conscience and the trust is gone.

Crop circle on my birthday

The post I reference here is a post I did on my Bring4th blog. A lot of posts are copied but some are different on each blog:

Just saying, when I do positively polarised stuff I feel a little bad about the kind of posts I just wrote, however, it is how it is.

I just arranged to go see a crop circle with a very close friend. These basically positively polarised things are a good distraction and they keep you connected with people (I.e. in positive polarity, the last time I talked to him I needed psychological help and he has a direct issue with my thoughts on some of these things being declared 'valid' in any way). Of course I have fears about positively polarising that I have outlined but I am here on this earth, karmic rules cannot prevent me from doing anything AT ALL.
(With my ability to look into the future, I DO NOT think I will get to see a crop circle. I reach for the feeling and the images and it's not there. I do not know why.)

I have another problem.

I am losing all polarity.

  • When I volunteer now I am in a warehouse like setting, a kind of 'hopeless' environment.
  • I am losing all contact with everybody who is getting sick of me in my currently sick state, if I ask for help they cannot help me.
  • I am doing less and less, I don't enjoy movies or anything really.
  • I cannot talk to people about my problems anymore. Samaritans is stopping and people are sick of me and will not talk to me.
  • Not really keeping these blogs going with new info.
The LoO specified that if you act without polarity gradually the opportunities for 'positive polarisation' go and you don't have the option.

This is also happening with the girl. I could tell when I talked to her last. It was definitely not positively polarised and it definitely wasn't negatively polarised. It was in the dead centre.

My thoughts is that I need to be negatively polarised a little to get a disease. I could easily just fall into a place where there is no hope.

I could force myself into negative polarity and live a life without this girl always denying my real feelings of being in love with her and having to supress and manipulate more and more.

Blogging about this a bit.

Since it is something that matters to me a lot and I need to express myself about it.

When I phoned her she seemed surprised that I was phoning and who I was. So she doesn't recognise my number and has to reach for her memory about me... That's quite unlikely. There were intense feelings passing around, and it's been less than a year. I remember clearly people whom I have had almost zero contact with, I remember internet people that I talked to within the last year!

Although perhaps a silly comparison.

Although it is perhaps not a good comparison in terms of the fact that the example I am using is far more intense:

Paedophile victims are likely very upset, angry and COMPLETELY POWERLESS that they have been treated the way they have. However, we know that in the future these people will see justice. Therefore, when we feel those same feelings of powerlessness and unfairness, we can know that with any luck, we too, will see justice done.

Will the positive forces...

Recognise I have done my part and provide any sort of assistance now?


I made the phone call, she phoned back, then I phoned back.

I explained fully the 'life force' thing, she said I explained that to her at the time.

So, here we are, I do not know what happens from here. But someone has clearly stated that from their side it is just me, I did explain that from my perspective the grudge she held after things started going wrong wasn't really OK at the higher vibration level.

So the conclusion is. I now have a good reason to not call her, I have good communication. And if I did die from this point as I summarised (that's what it feels like when I don't contact her sometimes), she would have full knowledge of the reasons and full karma.

Just looked at the stockmarket and saw a massive positive synchronicity about my thoughts.
When she said 'you explained that to me at the time'. There is obviously awareness on her behalf. It means she has taken it in and doesn't believe it, so the possibility it is legitimate must have at least OCCURED to her, therefore, she has awareness and will power towards my death.

Power to sort out.

I just phoned her and it is not a decision I am happy with.

Very scared and I talked to a Samaritans guy and one of the questions he asked is straight up... Why don't you contact her? Which I explained but perhaps it didn't stick.

Anyway, I felt overwhelmed with the logical deduction it was the obvious thing to do and I did, I let it phone for three rings, felt stupid and switched it off, and considered throwing my phone into the bin. (Changing simcard, as though that would help.)

I felt I had been moved into simply a different set of rules and where reality functions differently briefly.

It has made me consider two things:

A) The situation I have outlined is true and I am unable to sort it out,

B) The situation I have previously outlined is false and I am unable to sort it out.

It also makes me wonder how positive I am, but that may have been 'others thoughts'.

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

As far as possible.

As far as possible (as in under almost no circumstances but I do not know how it works unconsciously if you reject something positively polarised) I don't want to be making any conscious deals with a non positive entity. I am not setting intention negatively. Simply doing my best to survive without doing something that it is my impression the positive forces have made it non- negotiable that I do

Last of my personal pride.

I have to admit the last of my personal pride has gone down the toilet in light of the most recent things I have been saying.

Stupid Strange process

With this idea I have outlined, and it is exciting in a weird way, like a project. I cannot give up I basically have to remain service to others polarised otherwise there is simply no energy to back up against the blockage and bring me to my 'natural end'.

It may sound like I am deliberately doing something here, but in fact I am narrating a process that is automatic, in my belief.

Obviously any positive feeling I have towards this girl is blocked since the natural conclusion of the positive feeling is... So let's just give her a call! Actions follow thoughts and intentions like day follows night.

So just adding. The girl herself was very into psychology, so would have known the results of her behaviours. She was also very into ET groups she had contact with and I felt the neg versions of that same vibration was what bothered me. Or it could have been the neg version of Carla's quo, which I was trying to get into at the time.

Painfully, stupidly, I have to remain positively polarised right up to my end otherwise like I said there will be no energy which in this naturally trapped state ends up supporting my demise. Therefore, I will have to stay basically open for contact which was something I did not want. I think I can be open for contact then refuse it but I still have to be open. Right up to the last moment.

I am literally relying and expanding her hatred of me to kill me!
Also, I have to keep both blogs open and in line with positive polarity, from my side it is my committment to the truth that gets twisted into having the adverse effect on me, although that's just how I am, I could not not have that. I'll go see that crop circle on my upcoming birthday!

About the girl!

I should probably say something positive about this girl that I've been talking about. Just for continuity among readers. I do not think I will be attacked for this blog from her while I am not saying anything potentially threatening, however, expressing positive feelings is more of a risk than saying things like 'I chose not to contact her' even if I do finish that sentence with something as dramatic as 'and now I'm going to die'.

This whole thing has been from a magnet inside and a feeling of positive entities being connected up inside me when I am thinking/ feeling/ intending to contact her. Intuitively I do not think I will see her again because I think I will not be long for this world. I think if I stayed alive another 30 years with all that's going to happen I would have to. But life has it's own timing.

Anyway, honesty is one of the things I got from a brief conversation with her, a certain cuteness and deep emotion that is hidden most of the time and reveals itself. A vulnerability. Just a normal attachment that I get with few other people. Potentially as an energy (this I CAN sense quite accurately I believe, ironic right) there is something compatible on the spiritual level. I'm trying to describe the precise energetic mechanism and cannot therefore will have to leave that as something any guy would say. Intuitively I see red in her energy field and a mixture of black and green in mine... ?

Anyway, likely never going to see her again. So it's a nice memory!

Don't really like revealing these sorts of feelings when there is no reason to!

Holy shit it's a Phoenix

First the copyright laws:

the fair use of a copyrighted work, including such use by reproduction in copies or phonorecords or by any other means specified by that section, for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research, is not an infringement of copyright.

Second. Clearly a Phoenix. Or at least a bird with two references to the sun nearby:

Monday, 27 July 2015

Addendum to last post.

(Update that I feel I should put but wouldn't chose to :). After the girls name on facebook when I searched before, the term (magic of isis) was there in brackets. Very likey that has been taken down now considering the times, you'd have to be nuts to keep that up!)
I am feeling very weird right now. I am feeling TRULY like I could be dying (right ear ringing).

I have been disappointed before, but this feels really strange. The spirits feel very present, my heart chakra isn't really ON so to speak. It does not seem to be producing energy. (My aura however, which according to Cayce readings should not be present if I was passing, is present currently, however has jagged edges around the sides.)

I've decided if tweedledee and tweedledum from the last post did call I would not answer, since if they even slightly took me seriously, and they would probably only do that if I got a serious illness, their next play would be to believe that I was 'Law of Attractioning' myself to death and they had to manipulate me to stop it. So the interaction would be from my perspective STO, but then they would be manipulating the situation, so it would turn STS. And I'd be defending/ explaining myself and realising it was STS so it would be STS.

Of course, the choice is... Guy with real metaphysical problems that's been telling the truth about everything, or... Guy that is lying about everything and COMPLETELY delusional... Take your pick.

Patterns upon patterns.

I come on here when I really need help. Of course nothing that anyone ever says can actually help, what with moon exactly conjunct... biQ... Won't drop specifics here.

Anyway, I'm a little scared. I have never predicted a karmic pattern incorrectly, I have distinct memories of speaking to someone whom has (later edit from 'basically become negatively polarised' edit to: has made a decision towards negative polarisation but is not negatively polarised as defined by the full opportunity for negative polarisation on this planet, in my understanding) and getting screaming intuitions to get off the phone and knowing exactly what that person was going to say in order to manipulate, but I didn't because of the energy, and I endured it.

I only think the current pattern I am under is going to get worse not better. I am still in the same thing but it is growing, I may be able to suppress it.

I get the intuition to call the girl. I know it, but because of the neoliberal clauses and vindictiveness on her behalf I consciously stop myself.

For a while these have been fine, they have been mildly suicidal. More recently I am thrown into considerable pain to make me more than mildly suicidal. I'm finding some solutions, little things help. But the fundamental karmic pattern is there and it will not change.

These are my options and general thoughts:
A) When I look at conspiracy and markets I can put this stuff at bay because I have allowed a light negative polarity, or perhaps this is a distraction. Of course the eventual goal of this is that when the energy and society is better things can sort themselves out.
B) I can try getting on with things as normal, but sometimes inner intuition stops that. My connection to the positive will not stop and will always lead back into this direction, I don't experience ambiguity or confusion as 5th density. I can try energy somethings, like Qi-gong and potential people. I can't drop my vibration lower like a lot of other people because of pains in my head and heart chakra warnings.

Anyway, what I am standing against, for those of you whom do not know, is a 6th density entity that has chosen negative polarity. Of course there will never be any justice here. Karmically if I don't phone the girl I am completely liable, as she also is if she makes no effort at contact since it's just the way it is. It is a very successful greeting.

The feelings I get when I can't phone her and my energy switches off are pure pain, before I have had a kind of 'every second' hell. So if it continues as it is without a solution, which it most likely will, at least as far as the people concerned the options are:

A) Have to refuse suicide but there may be pain for me to desire it.
B) Medication will kill me almost as quickly, I do not react well to medication I am extremely sensitive and the mildest suppression of my feelings I don't feel to be possible. I can't touch paracetamol since my brain goes numb and I go a bit nuts.
C) Not going to call the girl. Simply put the opening of the energies then rejection will make the whole process more painful, plus I have called her before and she doesn't like me, shows not the remotest sign of acting on 'love' she once apparently had, and everyone will have a go at me and the police might turn up (I suspect she already tried to make some sort of complaint).
D) Not going to negotiate with negative 6D wanderer. Everything positively polarised I say gets twisted into the negative polarity.

But the pain remains. My hope is that either someone tells me the truth about parts of it that I need to continue, but it will just get twisted by neg 6D. My hope is that a generally positively polarised environment where negative polarity is less of an option prevails and the truth is delivered to me at that point.

Some people say things like... you shouldn't expect others to 'save' you. To that I say: Go live in Gaza and say that, and: that's the same argument if you are applying it to the higher forces that the LoO chose to not stop the negative greetings to Carla because it was trying to teach her a lesson about self empowerment.

(And besides, I'm not saying that I'm not going to do anything in the situation, I just percieve that I am not doing well in this atmosphere of intense neoliberalism, and no acknowledgement of psychic and 'other' realities)
If my health does take a sudden drop, as could be the case from the way I am currently feeling. The girls name in this case is Natalie Johnson, the guys is [Name removed at later date when feeling some of these ideas to be incorrect] Re entered Peter Heywood.

The misinterpretation of magick.

Just wanted to put this somewhere public, energy concerns.

About ten years ago or more I was just waking up into the real world, I had had my 'moronic' phase of not really having any reference point and being obsessed with fantasy novels as one of the only ways to experience the world I knew to be real. I then experienced a semi moronic phase of playing loads of computer games. Then, after a while I experienced a sensible phase of being into all sorts of new age stuff!

But I still did not really have a personality that I could comfortably relate to the world with, and so I would spend a lot of time reading about psychology etc. Self help. I also was very VERY interested in magick.

One of the pieces of information I came across when looking for information on how to SLEEP BETTER, was info. on 'psychic seduction'; and, without really thinking it through properly I did one of the processes on a girl I was interested in. I tried to void it almost immediately.

A few years later when things started going wrong I blamed this process for the things that were happening in my life but it is clear to me that this was a bit silly. Even though such magicks do exist I was unpracticed and had little to no intention of seriously doing anything. It was basically a visualisation I believed in.

The girl did seem to be very interested in me in some strange way but not in any way even similar to a normal interaction. Regardless, I said to her over facebook some stuff when I just got out of hospital about this that I really believed. It was probably good to admit it but how effective it was is doubtful and to say that it was my psychicness that got her interested in me (in whatever way she was), criminalises any positive feeling she did have for me. So I have stated this online, and for obvious reasons, won't be contacting her on this update.

I was into very interesting spiritual work while I knew her so even if that was not the thing that screwed up the situation in some way, there is always a chance that when you contact positive spirits (not deliberately) you contact negative ones that have a beef with the positive ones, and positive energy and enlightenment type stuff in general.

I also said in those messages that I 'released her' and I felt like I have, I had not really thought of her since those mesages.

Sunday, 26 July 2015

Uranus retrograde.

Commenting on an extremely fine energy change but Uranus (which I pronounce U-ran-us) is retrograde. Possibly why there is a slightly more technical element to some of the conspiracy/ revolutionary stuff. With JADEHELM/ AI news made out to be a kind of Skynet. And DW talking about negative greeting in gritty technical sense rather than emotional sense as just recently.

Uranus, going back all of that info. we think we've learned or know!

Also explaining my confusion over Blair; perhaps he is working both sides or something, some deal with China I read. Perhaps he's not a unanimous 'bad guy' in this. Which allows the pieces to fall into place easier I.e. Corbyn and EU.


The "JADE" in Jade Helm 15 is an AI software program:

Pentagon now using Jade Helm exercise to teach Jade Helm to kill humans:

Tony Blair Given Sensitive Foreign Office Papers Before Business Trips to China:


The last blog was s

Strange sentence in the LoO.

When discussing people incarnating to earth and wanderers. The LoO contact stated that after the good wanderers currently incarnating there would be an influx of bad people coming here too.

OK but what are they doing here? The planet is going to polarise service to others, surely it's not a good environment for them!

Saturday, 25 July 2015

Two porn films.

I have been cuckolded more than once. Cuckolded by women of extreme lust and it being clear it is their lustful nature that is part of it, and that it is not any of the more innocent interpretations they might try to spin.

Consider two porn film, 'An affair makes him a cuckold' (with the blue bed) and 'Katie Kox fucks on top of humiliated hubby'.

Both are describing a similar situation of sadism and one person being tied up having to watch a girl that he is in love with or in a relationship with having sex with another man.

The first one makes it all out to be as though the girl was a sweet creature whom would be lovely if only her boyfriend was loyal to her.

The second one is vicious and sadistic.

I think the second one is what really happens when a girl is in love and decides to allow herself to be dominated by another man. The difference between real accounts of female infidelity and 'makehimcuckold' kind of porn in some cases is that in the former, the girl is behaving viciously and the man has DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG.

What this is is an attempt on behalf of women everywhere to not offend the guy they were in love with if they hope to get back together. Thus it can become 'I really did love you all the time'. Rather than 'I did something vicious, self centered and cruel for my own lustful pleasure and intended to hurt you.

Friday, 24 July 2015

OK Then.

Apparently Jeremy Corbyn is probably what he looks like... A pretty decent human being.

David Icke backs him anyway.

And the negative forces really don't have anything left up their sleeves. I have been looking for good plays from the negative side but there are none, they are falling apart, (albeit still in full tyranny mode).

First we had this thing about the Queens friend and two other high rankers being paedosadists. A few days later we had an investigator who is still living in one of the investigations being paid dodgy amounts. We have had Tony Blair implicated in this paedophile scandal coverup.

The Markets have had their worst week of this year and gold is acting so strangely it's a joke. (Someone is dumping gold 'paper' to make it seem like the price of gold is not raising massively but people are buying massive amounts of gold and bitcoin.) When the gold market cannot be 'fixed' anymore that will be the end of the dollar which is why we have this behaviour. (Zero Hedge: This Has Never Happened To Gold Before): One of the comments to this article was; 'Jesus christ. I couldn't make this shit up if i tried.'

And Divine cosmos is down. Don't worry folks we can do a lot of it ourselves!


Daily Mail: Suspicious account activity of 'Keith Vaz' :

Telegraph: Home office lost files on paedophilia 'on an industrial scale':

Guardian: 'Keith Vaz' helped to kill probe into Janner in 1990's

Mirror: Who was the cabinet minister Tony Blair protected?

Mirror: Tony Blair rejected Hillsborough enquiry as a favour to Rupert Murdoch

Zero hedge: Stocks Suffer Worst Week Of Year Amid Biotech Bloodbath, Commodity Carnage And Bond Buying:

There are is more information including Leon Brittan dying the day before certain files on paedophilia were transferred for investigation. Anyway, here is one more from David Icke:

And one meme from me:

It might sounds strange but with the apparent imminent demise of the negative forces clear to me, and them not doing anything much, I feel a kind of 'loss', the loss of the 'fight'.

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

A Diary Of Conspiracy.

(I basically withdraw the conclusion of Corbyn not being in the good camp by the mistaken labelling in this article of Kendall as a 'human being'. I'm leaving it up I think it has some good thoughts. I really need the discipline to stay completely out of the Labourleadership, I have an active mind but I can't do any good here.)

My pageviews have gone up, they do every so often, why? Possibly coming down from my twitter account, or a post on my local MP's website.

Regardless, this makes me all of a sudden a little more apprehensively about expressing myself honestly, nonetheless. Can people comment on this blog? I don't usually let people comment on my other sites.

Regardless, this is what I have to say.

I am very suspicious about this 'Corbyn' bloke in the Labourleadership. I don't like the way he talks, and I don't like what he says.

The first thing I want to say is if Corbyn really is part of the negative agenda then hats off to them. I have generally been disappointed with the negatives plays. I don't know what positive forces they are up against but in general what I hear about them is that their spiritual and religious ideas are not really in line with anything that makes a great deal of sense, and that they believe the lies they use to manipulate others, which is like a gunrunner picking up a gun and joining the customers.

However, let's look at where we are.

A) Tony Blair, whom surely is fully aware of how he will impact events has decided to chose this moment to warn Labour against a 'move to the left'. Which means all the Labourites will in short order say 'yes we have one up on the 'Blairites''.

B) Nigel Farage, whom knows what he is doing I suspect, chose not to reveal whom he actually liked in the Labour Leadership contest, since he knows that whomever he backs will lose points. (specious)

And the guy is extremely angry. He looks like a 'Spook' and I have had that feel from the beginning. I suspect that this is the 'Blair'. This is the one that says all the right things.

I have had good reason from my local MP about his abstaining from the welfare bill, and a little bit of knowledge into the situation. There is always a moment when looking at the negative when you see brieflly into a really bizarre thought process, and my MP has described this negative 'capture' on the situation very well, how the 'Tories' are behaving and thinking.

From the brief section I saw the only two in the Labour Leadership who seemed 'human', are Liz Kendall foremost and Andy Burnham. The other two have something dark there. This is just my thought on it. I'm not Labour so probably won't be heavily investing in it.

Also, Tony Blair being the 'Rockerfeller faction' and this guy seeming so completely a 'spook' seems to me an interesting coincidence.

It's not evidence, in fact it is supremely thin. But, I want to show a certain respect for the negative polarities mind games. The 'negative polarity is very clever' (LoO), and to show respect for them you will not underestimate them. 

Tuesday, 21 July 2015

The target... Love and light.

I think the reason that the LoO material said there was no reason to send love to the 'societal complex' has become clear. Wanderers are already manoeuvred into place for that.

So I will not be using 'political targets' anymore.

This is not an easy one. I did get an intuition to follow up on the meditation but didn't do it and perhaps that would have forced something. Intuitively I do think it makes a difference.

A correction

(For Bring4th): I come on here sometimes when I am following up something I have said here (and perhaps saying something significant).

Here is a bit of an explanation on the Greek crisis we are watching. It makes sense and even though it does not come from someone as 'in the know' as Benjamin Fulford. It could very well be correct:

Greek Prime Minister Asked Putin For $10 Billion To "Print Drachmas", Greek Media Reports

To summarise basically it says that Tsipras asked Putin for 10 Billion to print Drachmas which was what he was planning to do after the referendum, however, Putin pulled out ON THE DAY of the referendum. Therefore, Tsipras had to go back to the creditors.

So there is a gap here, there is something not right. We have been hearing from the likes of Benjamin Fulford that the bankrupting of these guys is the point and a few hints to certain geostrategic elements. However, a person in this 'game' in this 'alliance'. Is not supporting the same agenda.

Why? Well it is so that us 'citizens' continue to insist and believe that the EU going bankrupt is the point and it gets the EU to give more concessions to save themselves, since the Illuminaties worst fear is 'the people'. People like me running around saying 'THEY'RE GOING TO GO BANKRUPT, THEY'RE ALL GONNA BE ARRESTED', possibly DW's info as well is in there. This helps the 'Alliance', it is misdirection, and scares the cabal into making concessions. Ben also hinted at this when he talked about China in relation to the EU, he withdrew it next week, but I mean really... Who knows?

Does it matter? Not massively probably.

(David Wilcocks post about the 'arrests' happening soon, or rather the bankers stealing money from citizens bank accounts and then there being a reset. During this post, on prompting from 'the alliance' he pushed out information that he had experienced the synchronicity 666 with and had not previously felt to be useful.)
And on this subject of deception it seems likely that UKIP's campaign (that I have previously spoken positively about) UKIP's campaign was very deceptive in places. Including lies/ carefully worded deception on health tourism (2bn = 100m) and immigration (comes from outside the EU).

Sending of love/ light.

I won't reveal the target but sending love/ light etc. To the bad guys was VERY successful. It was non local though. It relates to someones metaphysical will not their human body actions.

Monday, 20 July 2015


I may choose specific targets for the sending of energy. Possibly writing the results up here (Probs famous political targets).

Sending Love.

Something the 5D entity is apparently very good at.

And something I can do.

I worried for a long time that sending love may be used by the negative side. But am not worried about that anymore. I'm sure it stays their hand, their will power to destroy you that branches out metaphysically. And it is a good thing to do.

If I did it everyday for a year something is bound to change. (And resisted any respondent negative energies coming back).

To Some Extent.

That last post,

I suppose to some extent I have to discipline myself away from saying and thinking things like that.

I am absolutely unequivocably trapped, with people having power over me whom do not have mercy.

But if I say anything along the lines of 'I plan to die' then I will get communication from the 'left' side of my indigo chakra field.

It is of course, not fair. My 'crimes' are not in proportion to my punishment. I do think avoiding STS people is a good thing although my intuition may say to communicate with them. But when I do my STO information gets perverted and properly used for STS reasons.

I Could Be Wrong But...

I feel like I might be dying.

Sounds a stupid thing to say.

Ever since the unfortunate events last August, and down to roughly about April before that, after these events, after I got out of hospital etc. I have been intentionally keeping myself away from positive polarity in order to keep away from the possibility that I might want to call the aforementioned girl and be thrown into a kind of 'hell' if I didn't.

However, keeping in the negative polarity, when I'm not really negatively polarised can't really happen. Eventually I have been running low on energy and am needing to meditate otherwise I feel like I am dying. I feel an emptiness in my indigo chakra.

My dreams last night were helping me to come to terms with this fact!

When I do meditate I get into an absolutely awful and suicidal phase, fearing the things that are to come. Unable to silence the mass of feelings that swirl up and unable to concentrate, these are distressing but underlies a way in which I am suffering anyway.

In my distressed state I tried to find a reason for why my mother should be OK if I were to pass (because I do REALLY believe it, it is not a game). Eventually I got to that the positive entities at the other side would look after me. She said, a little bit of confirmation of my reality which is hard to come by, that if I went she would understand since I seem to have suffered so much in my life.

I think it might happen but it may not. I hope it is quick if it does happen. Love seems to be switching off as of late. My best friend I went around to see the other day and it was good but kind of hollow and I got the feeling he wanted to get rid of me, the dog whom is usually unfailingly affectionate won't huge me, and I can't contact my sister although I've tried three different methods.

Perhaps, perhaps not, who knows. I feel that if I do pass it will justify the reality which few people believe that I am describing. OK maybe that girl WAS his soulmate if he suffered so much as a result of not seeing her. One ex- friend of mine would still overlay his own reality and insist that I was inferior, but if I don't inform this person to after my actual death then he can justify himself without having the satisfaction of bullying me to gain feedback on it.

Pretty miserable post but it is what I believe.

Sunday, 19 July 2015


It strikes me that if you have a karmic event, and this will probably be a big event.

The energies will repeat periodically. If you do not do the same behaviours you have effectively not done it originally? No, this doesn't work. Since you have not been forgiven for the original behaviour and forgiven yourself.


Saturday, 18 July 2015

Of Course.

If I can possibly get out of this without blaming anyone I will. If my 'solution' involves blame of someone else then I will consider that. If there is another one which works better I will go for that.

I got a response from my previous letter to an MP regarding the EU. I slept a little. It is best for me not to hold these emotions in but expressing them does seem to allow me to come to some sort of solution. Possibly. Who knows if it's just temporary.


Obviously the problem with the last blog is that I cannot actually stop seeking the Creator. So my progress cannot 'stop' since there is an inner push.

Excuses without neo- liberalism.

So the only thing I can find to give my mind some sort of peace is the realisation that, regardless of how we would be in an ideal world, the girl I'm talking about in relation to chemistry really does desire me harm.

I said some nasty stuff to her, apologised and asked for forgiveness but nothing I did after that point (and she had asked me to phone her) did any good. I phoned and she wouldn't contact me back, I had to communicate once through a friend of hers and she wouldn't give me her number.

This is an agressive and negative negligence of the fact my psyche was dissolving because of these events and no mercy in event of the suicide attempt. She has avoided all contact since.

Rather than dress this up as a 'lesson' (new age neo liberalism) I could simply acknowledge that the girl really hates me and desires me harm, and would accept the continued degradation of my consciousness or even another suicide attempt (no intent on doing that again). Therefore acknowledging it under the umbrella of 'other than positive polarity'. Unable to progress where those emotions are involved. = Flatly unable to progress.

No prayer or meditation or anything seems to slighly lift this, but acceptance of the necessity of negative polarity is the only option.

That Last Post.

So that last post may have not been true.

But if it isn't it is almost as much of a problem. Since those emotions return periodically and they won't move, balance or change in any way.

I 'Just Know'.

I have had a strange thing that's happened recently with this problem that I have outlined.

I outlined how a girl I felt very well matched to turned against me at a high vibration, I also mentioned how a friend was 'lying' to me in a way that was uncomfortable.

You know what I'm going to say, I feel this girl and the friend are/ have been dating. It is something I feel, it has no direct evidence, but I 'JUST KNOW'.

I'll outline some of this 'circumstantial' evidence:

One time when I made a piece of music about me and this girl and put it online, all of a sudden this friend changed his tune in a very strange way. I phoned him and he was on the phone and I just 'knew' they were communicating (I sometimes phoned the two of them at the same time and they were both engaged), then he said that he wasn't into music anymore and came out with some new-age-neo-liberal garbage. I think it was she was angry with me so told him not to support me musically.

Sometimes he offers 'proof' that my assertions are stupid but the 'feel' like a lie, the energy does not support them. You feel it when someone is offering something and the energy behind it. For instance, he says 'to show you how honest I am I will give you her facebook'. I checked her (I've only ever checked her the two times outlined in this post.) I checked her that time and there were none of the 'pictures' of her relationship with someone else he had been trying to convince me. It was a very perfectly presented facebook.

Later of course, recently I checked her again... She had blocked me. She had only been available to me for his display of 'honesty'.

Also, he says things like 'I have a text from (the guy she's seeing)' I feel the energy, as I have very often when he has said things (the energy has predicted things in the conversation before) I know this is a false energy and sure enough he can't find the text. It's relatively easy to find a text and if someone is falsely accusing you you would take the time to find it.

When I talk to this guy there is a satanic energy. Because he has insisted they are not together and I feel they are, so I have to, out of 'fear' not talk about it. (There are other more 'proof based' evidence than that outlined, this is a gist.) What happens when I have to suppress myself is the overlaying conversation is one way, and there is rich symbology showing what is 'really' being said.

It's all gotten pretty serious now. Everyone involved doesn't have an excuse anymore for their behaviour. They've seen the evidence and the signs and a lot of them have KNOWINGLY CHOSEN A ROUTE OTHER THAN THE POSITIVE. A certain amount of confusion is expected, once it becomes conscious there is responsibility taken for the actions involved.

Of course this guy has had to become more angry and unpleasant to justify his behaviour. Everyone involved, including all those I volunteered with has taken part.

Eventually of course, perhaps soon, all the truth will out and people will not be able to hide from it. People will be compelled to act positive and those without power will become those with power. Until that time comes I will suffer. I have experienced extremely painful dreams of loving this girl, she has chosen to avoid me at all costs and the positive feeling she once had does not go away, it is supressed within her. The LoO explained that.

Either another life or this one. I am unhappy with this arrangement but I do not have any power.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Carla's Chart For Real.

Free Chart 63%

It's Carla's birthday. I have felt a massive increase in positive energy and coincidentally my last blog was on astrology. This is something that I have had many synchronicities to. Including seeing planets etc.

So here is her chart. I recall when I tried to do it before I had a hypo while I was doing it. Anyway, here goes. It is not a chart without it's complexities. However, these are 'organic'. I have seen some charts where the complexities is not organic and the different parts of the chart are completely at odds with each other.

I also feel a sense of apprehension about going up in vibration. This is good. It shows me a part of myself shrouded in darkness, but this is how it is.

To first note, Don Elkins chart in synastry, his Pluto sits on top of Carla's Sun. This largely characterised their relationship. It's the thing that indicates that she would want to 'see inside him', things may be 'hidden'. And what he meant for her was emotional depth and darkness.

It's a very loving chart. It obviously centers around this moon in Capricorn in the sixth house. Intimating a woman who has an ambitious energy towards what may be called 'service to others' (6th house). The moon is our life long obsession, it is where we are pulled. It will not be silenced.

This is inconjunct Uranus and Pluto, which means that the Uranian impulse, of sciency kind of eccentricity sometimes including UFO's. And the dark emotionally deep impulse, such as psychological depths, would be included in this service but NOT DIRECTLY. I am learning. This is such a great chart.

There is an Earth Trine between the Moon, Mars and Venus. This is a very strong energy. It is like this person has a strong 'back bone' and in some way their energy cannot be moved. Strong willed, as Cancers very often are.

Mars is in the tenth house. This persons would have to push a little, perhaps even 'fight', in the main way that she relates to the world as in her 'vocation'. This is in earthy Taurus and may have a monetary element to it.

The bi- quintile between the Moon as outlined, and Neptune on the edge of Virgo, going into Libra. Moon Neptune bi- quintile is another one we 'keep returning to'. Bi quintiles also tend to produce information. Mars Neptune has a reputation for 'black magic'. All it means is that there is a need to push, with things in relation to the fuzzy, metaphysical stuff.

Sun and Mercury are in conjunction. In Cancer which is a loving, sensitive and sensual sign. The Sun is almost unaspected but the rest of the chart is aspected somewhat tightly. With the earth trine there, there is little 'flexibility'. There is a lack of fluidity in this chart. Heavy tension with the amount of squares.

To be honest. It seems to me quite remarkable Carla did turn out like she has, so loving. Saturn is in a very weak square with Neptune. A kind of discipline of these psychic matters which would be a little harsh.

I wonder if this is because sexual energies cannot come through me so I am not percieving her correctly? Astrology is clearly not the whole preson here because the chart that I am viewing is a little off the person that I remember from Llresearch.

Basic Astrological Interpretation of Events.

(Minor update at bottom of page):

So let's look at what is happening astrologically at the moment (pertains to yesterday):

Yesterday, just as all the Greek stuff was heating up and either citizens, or paid security personnel were throwing molotov cocktails at police, Mars was directly opposite Pluto. Mars being in Cancer and Pluto in Capricorn.

Now Pluto is what is going on with the banking system/ corporations et al. At the moment. This being in authoritarian, ambitious, establishment, entrepreneurial Capricorn.

Mars was directly opposite that in home based Cancer. So Mars, Mercury and the Moon were saying, this is our home, these are the real people and our country. On a real aggressive level (Mars) a thought based sometimes bureaucratic level (mercury) and a relevant emotional level (Moon).

Uranus has taken off from Pluto, no longer being trapped in the square. When we hear about Uranian efforts at bringing forth greater technical wonders, it is no longer so completely directly connected with the Plutonian darkness. Uranus is out on it's own and David and Corey are now talking about things to do with 'data dumps' rather than 'mass arrests.'

Saturn is retrograding through Capricorn and the Saturnian power of crunching down (for good or evil) is diffuse at the moment. My guess is that when Saturn goes direct things will seem as though they are focused again. Through Scorpio and this may be directed at those with unjust use of power, or it may be those using unjust power.

Sun in Cancer trining Chiron in Pisces. Chiron in Pisces is atm is the wound that those in power are treating us badly on a somewhat emotional level. During sun conjunct Chiron I have been very annoyed, very upset for two years running now on that transit, that the media are not reporting as they should be. Chiron is deep collective wounds and Pisces is very concerned with Extra terrestrials and/ or physics types of sciences. Sun in Cancer is the whole feeling around us not being connected to our ET heritage (Pisces-Chiron), and on a very real level us not being able to improve our lives in relation to that.

Uranus going to VenusLeo and JupiterLeo. My Jupiter is damaged currently so I can't tell you. I'm not allowed to freely express myself as I have outlined. I can't tell you what Venus is doing either, it being currently to do with the nobleness of the ego and moving into a kind of organised working and protective personal mentality (Virgo)
(Modification, so perhaps instead of simplifying to Pluto = Illuminati. Pluto is what is going on with corporations banks politics. And Uranus is positive i.e. David and Corey, information released to the world, and the cabal now have a negative Uranus with computer tricks such as AI. Positive Pluto could be positive undercover things, or it could be, is more likely, when corruption is revealed. Photo of Pluto interesting synchronicity here.)

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

The Inputs.

For me at the moment the inputs are getting a bit too many, and the amount of technical information I am sifting through just living normal life.

It is fine though. I forget what it is I was trying to blog about. I think just a bit of an expression of thoughts:

A) I wonder if, in relation to Corey's testimony, whether I got diabetes to stop being 'noticed' when I was young. This is a bit of a strange idea but my type 1 diabetes lowers my somewhat 'impressive' (to boast) psychic tendencies. BM's high and it all goes. I always expected to be 'noticed' when I was young for my intellect but I probably wasn't because of this tendency, if I indeed would have been.

B) Greece... Yeah, they are going to have to do quite a lot to push that whole deal through, voting Greece, voting all nations, convince the more-often-than-not suspiciously helpful to the good guys IMF.(Benjamin Fulfords information on IMF that he later basically denied I suspect is the reason for this.) But on Greek deal, even if they do push it through you've got Spain, France in line. Brexit, and hundreds of potential black swans.

C) Essentially, although I do not think it likely I am being at all attacked I have had health problems that are coincidentally getting in the way. Some basic organisational skills should solve this.

D) Many of the patients of the NHS will die if there are such problems that extra water and food is needed.

E) Things are going a little well for me personally. I am struggling to get back onto any real spirituality but volunteering again has lifted me slightly. Basic organisational skills.

Saturday, 11 July 2015

Two things.

A) Firstly, when not allowing certain things into sexual fantasies that I have already outlined there is less blockage present and more of a 'soul to soul' in my thought process. Certain perversities, I feel, are unpleasant to the soul and the soul slightly withdraws from the body when you engage, but straight normal stuff is different.

B) I am wondering about the efficacy of the term 'sociopath'. I realise the definition is very fluid and perhaps this is not useful. However, my normal problem when working on this sort of thought process is that I then try and monitor my thoughts for change. I will attempt to not bother. This 'label' I believe is counterproductive because it is a label, when having these thoughts my ability to see auras sparks.

Thursday, 9 July 2015

Comment on 'global events'.

You know, this is going to sound directly weird, but many times when I say these things online they reflect back to me in some way, it is not something I truly believe but it is something I notice, I get a slightly uncomfortable 'watched' feeling from it but I basically don't mind. I see it as an inevitable part of some sort of structure I, and we all, are hooked into on a 'global level'.

Bear in mind I am NOT saying people are reading this blog and basing their decisions on it. That would really be pushing things a little too far. I am saying there is some sort of correlation and one of them is when I came on here saying something in line with 'forgive the Illuminati so 3ders don't have to face anything weird.' Something I felt quite strongly and then in Corey's following post the neg representative basically said the same thing. I.e. people's 'religions' etc.

There are other times of this. Journalists, patterns and sometimes when I comment a noticeable LACK of any response, from politically based people that could be reading here. Or someone who still speaks from themselves and answers in a slightly different way.

Anyway, this is something I notice and do not comment upon. I feel it as an 'energy' seeing it in the world and feel it is that 'energy' I am communicating with, not individuals. But when I read the most recent info. On what Corey had to say I knew I would be offering my opinion. Such as it is I didn't know what it would be yet. And I have gotten right ear ringing since doing this. I believe it is karmically perhaps not best to say that but feel like jelly writing this post.

So, the bad guys have said. Yes we are so big and scary that we are going to create real trouble if you don't let us run away. (I can't be non self conscious enough to just be blunt anymore). What I have to say is, if my opinion is relevant and it may be on a purely 'earth-person-expressing-view-free-will' concern. Is first you have to look at any evidence these people have that they do in fact have any power here. It sounded like in the exopolitics write up minds have been made up. But the negative only ever seem to lie. Only ever seem to bluff. I was told once in a dream, after a time of bizarreness/ lack of sleep etc. That if I did x which was abstract and was a behaviour I felt trapped in, that I would be locked in my head for the rest of my life in a kind of retarded state. Well, I'm still here, it did not happen. It was a lie.

My dreadful fears of the STO energy from the LoO and meditation and astrology etc. Being converted into negative energy and blocked expressed themselves in a completely different way, if at all, if it was even a justified fear.

So yeah, what can they do really? Is this another case similar to the security services when asked about what justifies their snooping 'Oh you don't know, we know better, be quiet'? What do you know? Uh, you're not sharing huh? What about the rules. Because of their efforts most of humanity doesn't know they exist. Can they just land their ships and laser people. I think not. They can fly little black cubes in the sky. Anyone I know apart from one twitter girl notice these kinds of things. No, no one notices who didn't notice before. Free will hasn't allowed any new behaviours, and you haven't lasered people so far even though they have the capability.

So offer up the proof. Run it past the positive ET's that know about these things. These Draco's are LIARS.

(So I don't 'condescend to my readers', I suppose it may simply be that people all over the place are reading this blog and comments I write occasionally, and that I am guided in the same way those people's guidance is guiding them'. I once checked a hit counter at the bottom of this blog and it was in the five figures, I don't check it anymore. My other blog (for google blog, this blog) does not have nearly so many.)

Just woke up and...

I've just woke up and realise that I have to carefully consider the reality I suspected a few posts ago. Since it was suspicion only and when I actually consider it logically it doesn't seem likely.

It doesn't matter now though.  I won't likely see those people again.

Still had a relative problem in relation to insights/ human design chart. I need to perhaps return to meditating. In the LONG term and with focus on this area I will be able to see the woods from the trees.

(I will put it back to basics, the evidence returned and gave me something to think on. Therefore, I will not consider this either way and will attempt not to blog on this subject, because it can't be very interesting for the readers.)

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Some of the most dangerous and interesting developments in modern politics. Listed.

A) ISIS and the mediterranean crisis: This issue has not gone away, even though no one is talking about it. Hundreds of people are arriving at the shores of Italy after ISIS has taken over everything in Libya and surrounding countries. ISIS with a fraction of the number of fighters it really needs to create a proper army, nevertheless are doing extremely well militarily.

There are fights in Greece around food. There is a general state of fear among the refugees/ economic migrants. They cannot all be classified as refugees, since some of them do not have families with them, and are intent on coming to England rather than anywhere else. England with a lot of jobs 'off the books'. (Although to be sure a person doesn't fit into the definition of 'migrant' or 'refugee', this is a human term).

ISIS have stated they are sending members amongst this group that would be impossible to find even for our technically advanced security services. 500,000 migrants have already arrived and the same amount again is on their way. The EU planned to destroy Libya's boats to stop this but Wikileaks released this ahead of time which tipped off the Libyan government.

B) AI. Artificial Intelligence: Two places, i) the recent United Airlines, Zero Hedge, New York Stock Exchange and Wall Street Journal recently had to shut down because an Artificial intelligence program was testing the civilians to see what would happen. The cabal are losing and are resorting to an impossibly dangerous tool to keep themselves in power (Bilderberg meetings first discussion point and in Hollywood movies and news recently.) ii) Jade Helm is also using the same tools.

C) TTIP: An incredibly dangerous trade deal between the US and EU which will allow corporations to privatise the NHS and take MP's to secret courts if said MP's are getting in the way of their prophits. The Bilderberg connected Labour party have been very much in favour of TTIP.

D) A global economic crash following Greece leaving the EU: Although essentially a good thing that could see many of the most criminal in our society go to jail. It could also create a lot of panic and potential problems with food etc.

E) Tetch ET's: UFO sightings have massively increased because the negative types have been cornered. Some of the UFO videos currently available are clearly negative and are very disturbing. Most likely won't effect the common man, but it could do.

F) The Budget: This would be catastrophic if it were actually going to happen. But it's not. One of the preceding developments will dwarf it and the whole system is on the edge of collapse and won't survive that long.

What the good guys are planning is a massive document dump of many things about the negative groups, and the space program, as part of other developments I do not know about.

Follow up.

I haven't contacted the guy I outlined in the last post.

I don't know precisely why. I feel these things are predicated on metaphysical things that are not always under my control. It changed after a dream. And the higher self is capable of removing a person from a situation if that person is in danger. I suspect that is what happened.

I am not making him responsible for the 'suicide' thing though.

I feel that a strange kind of internal suffering is overwhelming me a bit. Sometimes I figure some powerful truth out and then, because I am constrained by circumstance, feel the pain of my soul being alive with the truth, and the knowledge that the karmic rules I am observing are being twisted against me.

This happened last Thursday. I was thinking about why I always relate to 'organisation' (such as charities etc.) In a certain way, felt through with my mind and energies to my HDC. Then looked and felt how it was blocked that brought me back to the original situation. Then knowledge of being unable to unblock it and how every second of blockage there is STS. (Definition of 'karma' and how it repeats in session 34, actions once taken will inevitably repeat.)

I will not take my life, but mercifully my life on this planet will not be overly long. It could all get sorted out in some way or another. That does not change where I am right at this moment.

Of course, if Corey's perspective was valid, I should just be able to forgive and move on. If I were to forgive these people I would immediately have to communicate the truth to them and I would be shut down. My attempt at STO polarity would be further twisted into STS polarity. This is what is meant by if you are in an environment of negative polarity you cannot polarise positively. The 'other self' is a valid concern in the positive polarity. You can't just release it all on your own IMO.

I am not sure I can hold myself though against the tide of not being able to properly polarise. I may throw myself in and risk being sent to a psyche unit.

I wonder if the forces standing against me will ever be repaid properly for their behaviour.

Tuesday, 7 July 2015

The cold removal of any freedom or choice, gift to me from the 'positive' path.

(I feel this post is a little 'raw' and it should not be taken as being correct per- sey. It is an expression of my energies and how I am attempting to deal with them. I am working with a complex and seemingly a little 'inhuman' thought process.)

I am going to continue with my story of the predicament I find myself in.

There seems to me quite a lot less viewers as of later. :(. Not much I can do about that really.

Regardless. I have been getting pains on my shoulder, I hope this will be a record of the hell that I have been through, not hell though really, not in relation to Greece, or Illuminatus'. The 'very mild discomfort'. That has nevertheless been terrifying enough to drive me to a suicide attempt. Not specifically this bit of it.

After I experienced a seperation and hatred from this girl that I had outlined, I have had the STRONG feeling that a friend of mine was dating her. Not only have I felt that, but have been PSYCHICALLY DRAWN TO CALLING HIM, through a process that is definitely psychic that I won't outline. But is definitely psychic.

When I do, I have had a certain version of the truth, backed up by positive entities within me, he has denied that truth and said other things. I feel when I talked to him that there is an overlay of the conversation that is happening and a symbolic one coming through his speaking and mine, and explaining another one.

What it all comes down to is my '5th density self', the part in David Wilcock that Carla challenged and disapproved of. The part that puts information together in an organic tapestry and finds out truths the service to self hates with a passion. This fifth density self, the thing that understands David Wilcock and the stock market, and understands the karmic patterns behind events (like I am currently describing) and the truth of the emotions of my feelings for this girl and how these link up with other information. This is what he viciously hates in me and my conversations with him, the last one, simply became a hate fest on his behalf, where he dogmatically told me not to support the political party I am very supportive of and told me I should have voted for someone else. And condescended to me as inferior in my views of world politics and spiritual beliefs.

My conscious personality does not want to call this person again, but because of the patterns I am loath to have to 'obey' I will contact him. I have been feeling bad that from an energetic POV, the responsibility is on me to contact and start the karma off.

I am afraid, this has been quite an STS relation so far, there is no way to unhook it and make it STO until a certain level of 'truth' is acknowledged in the 'real world' IMO. I won't describe the catalyst that makes me believe I should contact him but I will describe the part of the LoO I think this relates to. In session 69 the wanderer in the vicinity of the negative had to engage with the negative because of the higher selfs understanding that the Creator desires experience.

I'll phone him and try and engage in a normal conversation and ask him pointedly if he thinks there is still any way for us to get on. I will attempt best I can to explain my perspective but he will probably shout it down and consider it beneath his 'superior' self to attempt to engage with.

It of course partly goes back to the girl I originally had a problem with, her emotions/ forgiveness or love are a part of it, part of this death wheel of karma. A metaphor does not come to mind for the unlikeliness of any positivity from her, or ability to handle the situation as it really is.

(I did think of one, 'blood out of a stone'. Which with my thinking process I have calculated the odds to be probably lower than this girl changing her mind, or of this girl getting struck by lightning, or of me and this girl getting struck by lightning and both seperately winning the lottery on the same day.)

Monday, 6 July 2015

My definition of the term 'neo liberal'.

A) Using abstract ideas, usually of 'tolerance', to insist on things from others, usually unreasonable things.

B) The shadowy activities of groups of people, thought of as too sophisticated and complex for their motives to be understood. (I.e. what are all the corporates up to) which has it's defence in the mainstream political views which the populace are brainwashed with.

So for A. In accord with the LoO marriage is not particularly useful and was even pointed to as a 'perverse' relationship. Marriage is a legal contract between two people where one person essentially owns another one. This is not hard to see if you take the blinkers down and think of it outside our culture.

Others of these are i) Being made to recognise a 'man' as a 'woman' when on a psychic level this is nuts. Perhaps it would be OK if you could clone and transfer consciousness and make the necessary changes to the energy field but we are not there yet.

ii) When uncomfortable sexual practices are requested and demanded under the justification of 'satisfying sexual needs'.

Also, offering new age ideas when a person has a real problem and thinking of oneself as 'above' others for this reason. This is also used in political life. I saw someone on Question Time say the most condescending words to another which was 'just because you percieve that something is a problem, doesn't mean it is'. This same view can be used from new agers in 'rather than see this is a problem, give in to the infinite love' or some other misinterpreted and unhelpful view.

Extra views? And 'retaining lower energies.

I am suddenly been getting quite a few extra views. I have no idea why.

I think I could have been wrong about EU and Chinese, perhaps things are pretty much what they seem to be in the daily news. I'm not sure much good comes from reading Benjamin Fulford since he changes his mind every week. (Or he reports on other international actors that change their mind.)

He also doesn't follow up on important details. The Chinese were buying a Western Newspaper last week, what happened to that.

The whole EU seems to be 'unravelling'.

Also, with the 'retaining my lower energies', a practice I'm hoping to use to improve myself spiritually, I have insight that not ever thinking of anal/ oral/ hand jobs etc. BDSM, is part of the way to stop these behaviours. Had a dream where I literally couldn't follow up on a relationship with a girl that wanted my hands in her 'bits'.

Also, I have slipped in my discipline at that, but am getting it back now.

And I am realising that the more time I spend on the computer the worse my dreams are, so am curtailing that back as well.

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

What I have learnt.

After all my too- ing and fro- ing. It appears, as was my psychic insight before the whole thing that I noted. That I have been a little manipulated. Not in a bad way though.

Greece will likely go back to the EU. Everything will be fine now because China has got involved, offering to save the day, have the West not suffer a cataclysmic defeat at the hands of their own stupidity, leading to riots and death.

As part of this deal China are buying newspapers. (Slowly awakening people, or quickly.)

The Free will clause is obviously still active. As it always should be. I only know these things because I have looked for them.

My input has probably, possibly partly had the effect of terrifying the Western bankers etc. That paranoid as the negative are, are probably watching all these things. It was all a manipulation, right from the start. Everything, the whole of Greece.

Oh well, I've learned to respect free will again. This has been interesting.

Just a thought.

If David Wilcock is not on a 'need to know basis' who is? There must be a lot of people in Western countries who do know what is going on.